Transitioning and Mediating Divorce

Mediation is the most effective way to safely transition through divorce.  By mediating divorce disputes, parties and their families may avoid much needless destruction - and expense.  A trained mediator serves as a neutral peacemaker to guide parties who are naturally feeling reactive and fearful through the crisis they are unquestionably experiencing.  Not any mediator can do the job, and a family law mediator must thoroughly understand the law before he or she can tease out the interests that underlie the positions of people in relationship distress.

There are emotional reasons for considering mediation for some or all of your divorce, family law, or domestic partnership dispute.  But the economic savings you may also enjoy has great meaning in these economic times more than ever before.

Thurman Arnold is a mindfulness attorney and peacemaker who litigated family court contests for over 25 years before rejecting the adversarial model for resolving for a brave new alternative.  He is the only peacemaking attorney in Eastern Riverside County and within the Coachella Valley.  His desert mediation offices are in Palm Springs. 

Thurman passed the Family Law Specialist certification examination in August, 2009, and will become a certified family law specialist in 2010 (CFLS).  He is presenting training  under the supervision of Forrest Woody Mosten, the premier mediator in California and a nationally recognized mediator trainer.  Thurman is attending Loma Linda University to obtain a Masters degree in Family Studies.  All of this speaks to a unique commitment, passion, and compassion for the suffering of others.  Traditional divorce litigation runs fees up far in excess of any mediation process, and Arnold has embarked on a different course.

Securing your family's future, and hence your own, in a way that you and your partner may agree upon trumps the expense of conditioned problem solving models  as a justification for mediation or collaborative law processes.  Any reason for avoiding conflict and reactivity is a wise reason.

What might it mean for your life - and your children's lives - that you could choose to participate in the outcome of your divorce, rather than depending upon a California Judge who has but 15 minutes to spare and many other demands upon his or her time to learn the facts of your life.  That person might be so overwhelmed as to really not care about whether you or your partner is telling the truth:  This is the reality of courtroom divorce.  Don't do it1

Mediation has many benefits.  Mediating your divorce is:

• Less expensive than conducting litigation
• Less time-consuming and runs on your schedule, not the lawyers and not the judges
• You can creatively work out agreements that suit you unique needs
• A trained and compassionate mediator understands reactivity, reframing, and mental health issues 
• Less stressful than an Indio court divorce, particularly for kids 
• It is completely confidential, hidden from public view and scrutiny
• It is mindful and can be managed in a relaxing environment
• It promotes openness about the facts and issues of the case, including how the breakup became unwound
• Mediation is creative but structured, and involves careful planning and predictable orchestration 
• Mediation includes sensitivities about interests beyond legal rights without sacrificing those rights 
• The parties are in control of the process instead of being under control of the process 
• Your entire family unit can be listened to