How Does the Collaborative Process Work?
Traditional divorce - the one we grew up with - is a zero sum game. If someone wins, someone loses. By contrast, the Collaborative Process is designed to identify the goals and desired outcomes of couples and partners who are separating in ways that foster mutuality and win-win situations. This really is possible!
Once the parties have agreed upon a Collaborative Divorce the team members meet to help them define the goals of the process. Tasks are outlined and deadlines are set so that the case stays on track to resolution. In Family Court there is no meaningful supervision of the process. Judges are overworked, and the system is built for inefficiency. In Family Court often one party sees stalling and roadblocking as in their self interest. The Collaborative approach does not permit this attitude to develop, and issues are addressed in real time as they arise.
Everything that happens in the Collaborative Process is confidential. All information that is needed is exchanged without formal "discovery" which invariably becomes an expensive battleground in litigation. The financial team member ensures that all back up data is located, exchanged between the parties, and fully evaluated. There can be no ambushes and there can be no surprises. If a party seeks to obstruct disclosure and cannot be convinced by their coach or their attorney to modify that behavior, the process ends and the parties proceed to litigation. Usually, however, the difficult party can be guided back to the ethical path.
The changing and future needs of the parties and of children are carefully analyzed, and reasonable timelines for achieving financial independence over time may be roadmapped in realistic ways. Property division scenarios are considered, along with their tax consequences. Using the money that once supported one household and now stretching it to support two can be challenging, but in collaborative divorce income and expenses and support can be structured in a way that is sustainable. The number of years remaining to retirement, and wealth management generally, can be planned for and both parties can obtain invaluable tools to budget their affairs and consider their changing needs and the evolving needs of children.
Binding agreements are vetted and finalized and these are submitted to the Family Court for approval and are filed as Stipulations or Judgments. These are the only public record of the divorce. Flexibility is written into the parties' agreement. In the end, the parties know they have treated each other fairly and respectfully, without further wounding and emotional bloodshed, which is a healthy prescription for the futures of all affected!
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