 |
 |
|
Dr. Marvin L. Chapman, PsyD, MFT, CFC, BCPCDIVORCE COACHING Divorce coaching is a joint effort to minimize the stressful adjustment and reorganization of the family. No matter how amicable a couple may be, going through a divorce is a very complex and deeply emotional experience. Research indicates going through a divorce is the second most stressful event in a person's life, second only to the death of an immediate family member. In a divorce, grief issues such as denial, anger, bargaining and depression are usually involved (See article, Stages of the Emotional Divorce, also written by Dr. Chapman). There is always a sense of loss and failure, and many times a lot of confusion as well. Reorganizing a family from a single home into two homes is extremely stressful. Post divorce issues such as co-parenting, support, and property division are always hot topics.
A divorce coach has specialized training, education, and experience to work with just these type of issues and concerns. A person who decides to involve a divorce coach is a person who would not typically enter into traditional therapy. However, the divorce process produces stress and raises emotional issues that are unique to those going through it. Here is where divorce coaching becomes critical. As a divorce coach, I join with my client in a duet of cooperation. Together we identify the "hot" buttons in the relationship. I assist my clients by giving them invaluable tools to cope with the divorce issues which are unique to them. I teach my clients how to be proactive, rather than reactive. I educate my clients on the benefits of concentrating on the positive (constructive and proactive) rather than dwelling on the negative (destructive and reactive).
The following are some of the areas we will work on together:
- Identify and prioritize concerns about the restructuring family.
- Present effective conflict resolution skills. Assist in learning to communicate in a non-reactive manner.
- Work to lower anxiety and to identify areas of stress and conflict.
- Assist in expanding the options and charting pro-active steps for the future.
- Aid in developing effective co-parenting skills.
- Learn enhanced communication skills to reduce misunderstandings.
- Assist in seeing the bigger picture of what is happening.
Traditional therapy may not be effective because a divorce produces unique and challenging issues which require specialized training, education and experience. Although you may not want or need traditional therapy, during a divorce you will greatly benefit by the emotional guidance a divorce coach can provide.
Your family law attorneys' purpose is to protect you legally throughout the divorce process. However, they are not trained in dealing with the emotional and psychological issues of divorce - therefore the need for a good divorce coach.
With your future and the future of your relationship with your children on the line, your financial security threatened, and your mental capacities stretched to the limits, the decisions you make during this time are critical. Unfortunately, many of these decisions will need to be made quickly and under the most stressful of conditions mentally, emotionally, financially, and even physically.
When facing a divorce, you need information - the tools - to put you in a more powerful position to help yourself and your children, thereby helping your restructuring family as a whole. One way to gain significant power is by retaining a qualified and experienced divorce coach. It makes sense to reach out at this time to receive as much information as possible. The effect of alleviating your stress today will have the added benefit of reducing your stress in the future.
A divorce coach will assist you in narrowing your focus on the really important issues, without letting go of the smaller ones. They can take you from A to Z through the family court process and therefore save you countless hours (money) with your attorney. You will have the information and education to be able to take charge of your case, becoming a proactive team member with your attorney and not just a bystander with a checkbook. Hiring a divorce coach will change your divorce experience from confusion and stress to proactive and confident, putting you back in charge of your life.
|
 |
|
|
 |