Dr. Marvin L. Chapman, PsyD, MFT, CFC, BCPC

ADVERSARIAL vs  COLLABORATIVE  PROCESSES

Adversarial Process

1. Each party hires an attorney as their advocate (just the word "advocate" indicates the forthcoming adversarial process).
2. The time-line of the process is driven by the court schedule and the attorneys availability.  The court does not take into consideration the emotional or financial stressors produced by this process.
3. Hearsay and unsubstantiated allegations are commonplace in both word and deed - and this takes a personal toll on the entire family unit. 
4. If custody is contested, and either an evaluation or investigation is ordered, it can cost from $8,000 to $12,000 and take as long as 4 to 6 months (and this does not include anger management classes, parenting classes, monitored visitation fees, reunification therapy, or any of the other adversarial costs incurred in a contested custody battle - not including the long term emotional toll on the children). 
5. If a financial expert is needed each party must hire their own (doubling the cost from the Collaborative or Mediation Approach outlined below). 
6. Bottom Line:  Parties are not in charge of either the time or the costs of the process.
   

Collaborative Approach

1. Each party hires an attorney primarily for educational and informational purposes to protect their legal rights and to assist them in reaching an amicable and acceptable agreement that is fair and equitable. 
   

2. Each party also hires a coach (about half the cost of an attorney) who assists the party with issues of communication styles, containment of disagreements, issue identification, emotional issues and parenting plans, thereby reducing the stress and emotional component of the divorce process to allow both party's to be heard, understood, and their issues dealt with promptly, professionally, and confidentially.
   

3. The time-line of the process is driven by the family taking both their schedule and their emotional well being into consideration.
   

4. Allegations are dealt with in confidential 4-way consultations with coaches with the goal of defusing, not exacerbating, the emotional issues.
   

5. Contested custody and visitation issues are handled by a neutral child specialist that serves as the voice of the children as to their concerns, worries, wants, needs and desires.
   

6.  One neutral financial specialist is hired to gather and process the family finances.